What is culture shock, and why does it come so late?
Culture shock is the stress of living in a new culture. The first weeks are often exciting, and even the supermarket feels like an adventure. The hard part tends to come later, when the paperwork starts, the winter arrives and the excitement is gone.
By then you don't expect any problems, so low mood or anxiety can seem to come from nowhere. You may sleep badly, miss home more than you expected, or get angry at small things like a queue. This doesn't mean you made the wrong decision.
Going back home can be hard too. Home has changed, and so have you. Many people are surprised to feel like a foreigner in their own country.
How can therapy in English help?
Your family may worry or tell you to come back. New colleagues are still getting to know you. Other expats often say they love it here. So you keep the real story to yourself.
In therapy you can say all of it to someone who won't be hurt by it and doesn't need you to be fine. Then we get practical. What have you lost? What can you rebuild where you are? Does your original plan still fit?
English doesn't need to be your first language, and you don't need the perfect words. If a word doesn't come, we'll find another way to say it. We can also work in Bulgarian.
What if you moved for your partner's job?
This can be the hardest version of a move. Your partner arrives with colleagues, a routine and a reason to be there. You may have left your own career and friends, and you may feel you can't complain because the move was good for the family.
Over time this can change your relationship. One of you comes home tired and wants quiet. The other has waited all day to talk. Individual sessions can help you build something of your own. If the problem is mostly between the two of you, try online couples therapy.
How do you choose an English-speaking therapist abroad?
Online lists can show dozens of names. These questions make the choice easier:
- What training do they have? Ask who certified them. The rules for psychotherapy differ from country to country.
- Do they know life abroad? Ask if they work with people living away from home.
- Can you talk freely? You should be able to discuss painful things in the language you use.
- Do the times and rules suit you? Check the hours, time zone, price and cancellation rules before you book.
- What happens in an emergency? An online therapist can't come to you, so ask about this too.
I hold the European Certificate of Psychotherapy from the EAP. It also matters that you feel comfortable with your therapist. If it doesn't feel right after a session or two, tell me, or look for someone else.
When should you talk to someone?
It's time if you wake up at four with your heart racing, if Sunday dread has spread into Saturday, or if you've started secretly planning to leave. All of these are easier to deal with early.
I don't prescribe medication and I'm not an emergency service, so it's still worth finding a local doctor where you live. The Informed Consent page explains what happens in an emergency.
