Is it burnout, stress or depression?
With stress there's too much: too many tasks and too much pressure. You feel that things would be fine if you could just catch up. With burnout there's too little left. You may stop caring whether you catch up, and time off no longer helps.
Burnout and depression can look alike, and you can have both. Burnout usually starts around work. With depression, low mood and loss of interest usually spread to most of your life, including things that have nothing to do with your job. The line isn't always clear, and you don't have to work it out alone.
Long-term tiredness can also have physical causes, such as thyroid problems, anaemia or sleep disorders, so please see your doctor as well. If you're thinking about harming yourself, treat it as urgent and call 112 or your local emergency number.
Why isn't rest enough?
A holiday can help, and you may really need one. But many people feel tired again within days of coming back, because the causes are still waiting for them.
Recovery usually takes two things: real rest, and a change in what led you here. The change may be in your job, such as your workload, your role or your manager. It may also be in you: how you react to pressure, what you can't say no to, and what you tell yourself when you stop. Therapy helps most with the second, and helps you think clearly about the first.
What does recovery look like?
There's no standard timeline, and it often takes longer than people hope. First we look at what's draining you and what you've given up: sleep, friends, exercise, the things you used to enjoy. We start small, because in burnout you have no energy for big plans.
As your energy comes back, we look at the habits underneath. Then come the harder conversations, perhaps with your manager or partner, about what you can no longer carry. Finally we ask where you really want your energy to go. For some people that's the same job on different terms. For others it's a new direction.
What can you do this week?
These tips don't replace therapy or medical advice:
- Tell one person the truth. A partner, friend or doctor who knows how you really are.
- Protect your sleep. Keep a regular bedtime and stop checking work messages before it.
- Drop or postpone one thing. Choose something that won't fall apart without you, and see what happens.
- Plan something that isn't work. Keep it small and put it in your calendar like a meeting.
- See your doctor if you've been exhausted for more than a few weeks.
If you recognise yourself here, now is a good time to talk. Many people wait until they can't function any more. If anxiety is part of it too, see therapy for anxiety and panic.
